Woo-Woo Fallacies

In the movie Contact, a committee member questioning Ellie Arroway (played by Jodie Foster) makes the silly statement that since 90% of the world’s people believe in some sort of God, then obviously that God must exist. Amazingly, Ellie lets him off the hook with a lame reply when she should have destroyed the argument perhaps with the example that only a few hundred years ago everybody thought the world was flat.

This kind of “majority must be right” fallacy is typical of the woo-woo culture that exists today; they either don’t know or just ignore the fact that history is littered with examples of majority-held beliefs subsequently proven wrong. Here is a short list of silly sayings with their (sometimes obvious) flaws.

• “If you’re so smart why aren’t you rich!”

This stupid quotation assumes that the goal of everyone is the pursuit of wealth, ignoring the fact that most clever people do not consider money to be of great importance. The wealthiest persons are almost never the smartest; indeed, some are remarkably dense!

• “So-and-so (insert name of well-known person here) said it so it must be right!”

Unless “so-and-so” is a famous intellectual, this is likely to be wrong. Arguments from authority figures and theologians are not to be trusted and statements made by persons famous for trivial reasons (movie stars, pop stars etc.) speaking out with their often-narrow fields of knowledge, are usually worthless.

• “I don’t care what you say, I believe in (insert whatever here)!”

People who talk like this are irrational non-thinkers not worth trying to convince of anything. Don’t bother with them; they will eventually die hopefully without polluting the human race with their useless genes.

• “What happens when an immovable object meets an irresistible force?”

Perhaps the best example of an absolutely silly meaningless question that I don’t even need to explain!

• “What’s your sign?”

The best reply is probably:

‘My sign is “fuck off”, what’s yours?’

Don’t say anymore, people who believe that a zodiacal sign determines your personal characteristics, are beyond help, just run away.